Goodbye Indonesia (for now!)

Is it ever really good-bye? No! It’s only a 30-hour, 2000-dollar flight away! OK, we’re probably not going to be doing weekends in Bali once we get back to Canada. But, we are comforting ourselves by saying that we will be back in some form some day – you know, maybe an extendo-mission to Bali! Today’s reality though is that we are packing up, and leaving Indo as full-time residents in a few days. Yikes! We better start packing! J


Speaking of packing, it’s actually a daunting task to “move” via a commercial airline – i.e., we don’t have a container ship thing, or anything else, everything is going on the plane when we go back, extra bag charges and all. I have been warning Amy since we’ve been here: if it doesn’t fit into a roller bag, it’s staying here! So that’s the immediate task for the next week: decide what goes in the roller bags, and what becomes a gift to the wonderful people of Indonesia. Underwear check. Toothbrush check. 3 bikes and hiking gear, check. OK, we’re good!


Next stop: Ottawa, Canada. The immediate plan is to reconnect with our families for a few months – very convenient because both of our families live in Ottawa. Why else would anyone ever go to Ottawa? (ha! Just kidding you guys….I can see the hate mail coming now….). So ya, a few months in Ottawa, then, not entirely sure. It’s that “rest of our lives” thing. We haven’t gotten that far J

OK, so Goodbye Indo! Wow. It’s definitely going to be weird, if not downright sad (tears, well, possibly). Alas, despite all of its insanity, traffic jams, endless chaos, mosques going off at 4 am, visa permit issues, strange and noisy animals keeping you awake all night, a complete absence of decent affordable wine, never a straight answer from anyone, and a constant barrage of “hello mister!” everywhere you go, it has definitely become home to us and a place we will always hold dear to our hearts.


In fact, there are some very definitive and select items that cannot be found anywhere else in the world (at least not in Canada), that we will miss every day we are away from Indonesia.

Ladies and Gentlemen (drum roll please!), we give you the Rob and Amy’s Top-5-Things-I-Will-Miss lists.


Rob’s Top-5 Things I’ll Miss


1. Bumhole cleaner thing


Does it actually have a name? Not sure – probably because everyone is afraid to talk about these things. But I’m here to say, right here, right now, that these bumhole cleaner things are the single best invention in human history. Way better than sliced bread, pizza, and the internet – yes, better than pizza and the internet! Funny, when I first arrived in Indo and saw this thing hooked up beside the toilet, I assumed (as probably all westerners do) it was for washing the toilet or something like that. Nope! It’s fer washing yer bumhole! Once you figure out how to use the thing (again, no one wants to talk about it, and well, we ain’t going there right now), you will never ever go back to toilet paper. What are we going to do back in Canada where there are no bumhole sprayer things?! That’s it, first order of business back in Canada is talking to a plumber!  Hook me up!


2. Pembantu

Kesi, our loyal Pembantu the entire time

Indonesian for “helper” (AKA: maid), Pembantus make the world go round here in Indo. It’s just part of the culture that someone is always at home looking after the house. A strange concept in the west, where only “rich folks” have maids – everyone has a Pembantu here. I had an amusing conversation with an Indonesian friend one time. I was telling her how amazing it is to have a pembantu, because in Canada we could never afford to have a full-time maid. She wrinkled up her face in disbelief, then asked “who brings in the laundry when it starts to rain and you are at work?” Needless to say, upon our return to Canada, we will have to relearn how to make the bed, how to do laundry, how to clean the bathroom, how to sweep the floor, how to mop the floor, how to fold clothes, how to clean the kitchen, oh my god……we can’t do it!!


3. Go-jek


Absolutely, beyond any doubt, the single best Indonesian creation on the plant: Go-jek – basically an UBER motorcycle taxi. Places like Jakarta and Bogor are crawling with them. They are the cheapest and fastest public transportation invention of all time. Gotta get to the other side of Jakarta in 20 mins? Pull out yer phone, dial it up, 2 minutes later you are on the back of a motorcycle with the wind in your hair whizzing through traffic like a hot knife through butter. The kicker: costs less than buying a stamp in Canada. Just how are we going to get around back in Canada? Where are all the Go-jeks??!! Maybe my Go-jek app will still work? J


4. Nasi Pedang

Lunch for a dollar-fifty

Actually, to be more specific: Nasi Padang Rendang. Padang is a city/region in western Sumatra (one of the big islands of Indonesia) famous for their cuisine, known by the same name. “Nasi” means rice. Nasi Padang therefore means Padang-style rice. Rendang is a spicy curried beef that could just be the best food ever invented after pizza and nachos. It a party-in-your-mouth situation. At a dollar-fifty a plate, it’s my weekly to-go lunch (usually Monday, because I can’t wait till longer in the week!). The lady on the corner knows my order as soon as I appear in her stall, I don’t even have to say anything to her: hold the blow-your-head-off hot peppers, heavy on the Pandang sauce, and double shot of Rendang sauce. Yummy! J  Oh man, where am I going to get my fix of Nasi Padang now??!!


5. Parking guys


Here in Indo, people still do everything and keep job-destroying machines at a distance. Parking is no exception. Every store, every restaurant, every hotel, every place of business, no matter how big or small, has a parking guy. He’s the guy whose job it is to direct you into your parking spot, watch your vehicle for you, then get you back out on street by stopping traffic for you like Moses parting the Red Sea – all this, for the grand sum of about 15 cents. OK, the quick among you will recall that we don’t own a car. So why would I miss parking guys? Because the parking guys are happy to watch bikes too! I can honestly say in 3.5 years in Indo, having ridden my bike to work daily, having ridden to the grocery store an equal amount, and generally just gotten around on my bike, I have not used my bike lock once. It sits in a bin collecting dust. I don’t even bother to bring it. I just know that wherever I’m going, for any length of time, there will be a parking guy who will fight to the death for my bike. Now that’s the best 15 cents I have ever spent! Gawd….what am I going to do without the parking guys?!


Amy’s Top-5 Things I’ll Miss


(note: this section is written by Ms. Amy)


1. The Weather

Morning coffee spot

Everyday is summer

For those that don’t know, we live in a city called Bogor. It sits at about 300m above sea level. It is surrounded by lush mountains resulting in blue and sunny skies every single morning. Waking up to sunshine 365 days a year has been exceptional. Around noon (especially in the rainy season) the clouds roll in and by evening the rain has come. The rains cool things down, kill the mosquitos and allow for cozy evenings. But guaranteed the next morning will be sunny. Plus, I am really into humidity and it IS humid here! Call me crazy, but my skin has never looked so good😊


2. Pembantu


Since Rob has already covered this, I won’t dwell on our amazing maid. Let’s just say, I will never again have ironed underpants - and that makes me sad.


3. Tempeh


Tempeh is an Indonesian, fermented-soybean product that is less processed than tofu and about a hundred times tastier. I have never eaten so much tempeh since coming to Bogor and probably never will again. My lunches in Bogor were catered by an old Indonesian lady and (IMO) she rocked at tempeh. For my parting gift at school, I received about a week’s worth of sweet and spicy fried tempeh. I ate it in a day.






4. Celebrity Fitness Spin Class


Living in a city on the equator and being a working stiff, exercising before or after work or some such thing is tricky. This resulted in me becoming a bit of a gym rat. Celebrity fitness is a state-of-the-art gym a quick 10-minute ankot ride away. It offers amazing spin classes in a facility that I could never afford in Canada. Plus, the instructors were really good at yelling at me which made me go faster and faster. It totally upped my cycling game. 




5. Friendly Indonesians and the greeting “hello mister”

Indonesians might be the friendliest people on earth

Indonesia is a ridiculously smiley, inquisitive, and happy nation. If you cut off a car cycling anywhere in the world, you’d get flipped the bird. In Indonesia, they wave uncontrollably, give you the thumbs up and want to take a selfie with you. (Well, constantly being asked for selfies does get a bit old, but it’s better than meanies). 


And since many Indonesians know little to no English, often they will greet any white person with “Hello mister”. The first few times this happened, I would try to explain that being a woman, this was incorrect. It soon became clear that correcting them was an insurmountable job. For the rest of my life, I will always answer to “Hello mister”.








(back to Rob)


OK, so that’s it kids. We’re signing off (for now). The next chapter starts now.


Terima kasih banyak, dan sampai jumpa lagi!

Gunung Salak from The Salak Sunset Café, Bogor Indonesia -- where it all began